Angels and Devils
by Happiness's Deceit
Summary: Kenshin Himura wasn’t sure when he received a shoulder angel and devil.  But what he wanted to know more was why one sounded like Shinta and the other like hitokiri battousai?  Crack.


**Summary**

Kenshin Himura wasn't sure when he received a shoulder angel and devil. But what he wanted to know more was why sounded like Shinta and the other like hitokiri battousai?

**Disclaimer**

I do not own anything related to Rurouni Kenshin and probably never will. Instead, it belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and its respective publishers. I do, however, own this temporary fit of insanity in which I write—and post—this fanfiction.

**Warnings**

Crack. I think. Complete and utter crack.

* * *

Kenshin couldn't remember much—only that one minute there had been a searing pain and the next he was gifted with the presence of these two…_special_…beings. The strange thing about it was not so much that they were there, but…

_Kenshin!_ A red strand of hair was tugged lightly. _Kenshin! What are you doing?! You can't go fainting in the middle of a battle! Try and wake up Kenshin! You _need_ to save your friends!_

Friends? Battle? Had this one been fighting someone…? Were the others in danger? Kenshin's thoughts raced. Had this one unknowingly placed the others in danger?

A crimson strand was yanked more forcefully. **Oi! Kenshin! Stop being so indecisive. Besides, your so-called **_**friends**_** are always depending on you. It's always 'oh! Kenshin save me!' or 'Kenshin will beat him!' and that makes me just sick. It serves those idiots right for always depending on you! **

A light twinkle. _How could you say that! Don't listen to him, Kenshin. They rely on you because they trust you to pull through! Don't let them down!_

A darker essence. **Psh. As if they would have even lived long enough. Kick back and relax, Kenshin. You've done enough. **

Kenshin opened his eyes. Who was speaking to him? He recognized the voices, but he couldn't quite put a _face_ on them…

What greeted his eyes was something not for the weak-hearted. On his left shoulder, a delicately clad younger, childish version sat, with halo and wings. He had a very frustrated look on his face, and his pout (_it was _not a _pout! _The little angel shouted back.) He heard a snicker from the other side of his head, and slowly turned to his right.

On his right shoulder was him as the hitokiri battousai, except—in a tight, red jumpsuit and a tail and horns? Kenshin supposed he was supposed to be a devil, but in place of the customary (and cliché) fork, the assassin-him held a bloodstained sword.

**Y'hear that, Angel-Kenshin? You're **_**pouting**_

_I am doing no such thing!_

**But Kenshin over here admitted it himself. Didn'tcha, Kenshin?** The devil-Kenshin purred, leaning closer to kenshin's ear. **You thought it.**

_Stop manipulating him for your own deeds!_ The angel-Kenshin replied for Kenshin, smacking the devil from his perch. _It is an evil, evil thing!_

**Who's going to stop me, huh? You and your…skirt?**

"Stop!" Kenshin said with a tone of finality. "This one is having delusions. There is no other explanation for this one's speaking to past one's selves."

Both the devil-Kenshin and the angel-Kenshin turned towards him incredulously.

**Hear that? He thinks we're delusions.**

_Well, he _was _hit on the head pretty hard._

"Ah. There is the reason for this one's confusion. This one was attacked on the head."

**He's just marching to the beat of his own drum!**

_Kenshin, you should really not use selective hearing. It isn't nice._

**Like he cares about being nice. **

_Of course he does! He fights for those who he can protect, and defends his friends!_

**And then there are times like these that I wonder how **_**you**_** ever became me, let alone how I became this rude guy.**

"Rude? Is this one rude?"

**See? It's all a chain, see. But anyway, Kenshin…about this entire saving thing…**

_Oh, that's right! You're in the middle of a battle, Kenshin! You need to wake up!_

**Or, you know, you could just hang around for a while longer. It doesn't really matter.** Devil-Kenshin added nonchalantly.

_No! His friends need him! _Angel-Kenshin argued. _He is an irreplaceable part of this team!_

**So you keep saying.**

_Because it's true!_

"Um, excuse this one's rudeness…" Kenshin interrupted, pulling the two apart by their wings. "But is this one supposed to wake up now? Because this one's delusions are getting very…"

_I know Kenshin! That devil is trying to manipulate you! _Angel-Kenshin agreed fiercely. _Let us wake you up! Come Devil-Kenshin!_

**What? Now?**

_Of course!_

Devil-Kenshin sighed, and with a poof of smoke reappeared on Kenshin's right shoulder. Angel-Kenshin took the opposite side, and they placed their palms to Kenshin's temples.

_Time to wake up!_

**Sure. And you know, don't hesitate to drop by every once in a while. Even if you're incompetent sometimes. How did I ever end up as **_**you?**_

"Uh…" Kenshin started, and then a bright light assaulted his senses. He opened his eyes (_weren't his eyes already open?) _blearily and was met by the relieved faces of the residents of the Kamiya dojo.

"Kenshin! You're awake!" Announced Kaoru brightly. "Are you okay?"

Kenshin shook his head once and regretted it when stars entered his vision. "This one has had better days."

"Hey! Kenshin!" Yahiko said bluntly, "What happened? Normally you'd take out guys without a scratch, not faint right after you beat them!"

"Well," Kenshin started, "This one met this one's shoulder-guardians."

"And?"

"They were weird."

* * *

**Word Count: 810 Words**

Please comment on this—though I am slightly afraid I'll wake up tomorrow morning and hate myself for posting this.


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